I’m adding videos to my blogs so enjoy!

Honestly, I have tried to write this blog at least 10 times in my head. Each moment I have had a revelation or learning lesson from the preparing to move and shift life seasons. And there has been A LOT of lessons. So I could bore you with long drawn out stories but I think a list will be a bit quicker.

So here’s the speed round.

What I have learned and what God has shown me in the past month:

1. You will gain nothing if you try to keep everything. Leaving comfort, releasing safety – opens you up to danger but also a world and story that you could never write on your own. The best things come from sacrifice.
2. God is a GOOD FATHER. I have seen more evidence for God in my life in the last few months than probably most of my growing up. Mostly because I wasn’t looking for it. But I don’t have an earthly father on earth right now and so more often than not I am literally going to God like he is my father and asking questions, telling him about my day, my needs and he has answered me every time. (Not always the answer I wanted though)
3. Do it scared. I know it sounds crazy that I am afraid of going on this awesome trip to see old friends and make new ones but really I have been battling deep rooted fear and trauma. But I have to go. And if need be – I will just go scared because I have learned God is bigger than my fear.
4. There is nothing on this earth that will satisfy you more than the life God has for you. I have been anxious, I have been tired, and unsure of life. But I will tell you what – There is nothing quite like the fire in your soul when you know you are chasing after what God has for you and the desires he has given to you.
5. It’s not about me. My story is only worth something if GOD gets every ounce of glory. Its that simple.
6. The Lord hears you. I asked the Lord for 4.5 years to go back to Korea. And really compared to stories in the bible that is a really short intermission of waiting. But God answered. I asked for someone to go with me to Korea so I didn’t have to do it all by myself again. He answered with an amazing friend being able to adventure with me. I asked the Lord to comfort me – and HE DID.
7. The Lord walks with us. I have felt closer to Jesus in this season in a very different way. There has been a closeness that has been precious to me. I’ve been battling my anxiety and fear and feel like I can see him walking beside me through it all.

SIDE NOTE: If you are struggling with anxiety, depression or anything else that you feel suffocated by. I want to tell you that it is okay to suffer and struggle. It is okay to have to battle with that everyday. NOT that it is easy or fun or that you want to deal with it. But if you are struggling with it – it means that it has not won. So keep fighting. Find the good in the day – that is often our struggles bitter weakness when we put our eyes on the good and our God and not just on them. (Context- I have wrestled with anxiety since I was 11, for 13 years)

There are obviously more lessons that I have learned but really I have been putting writing this post off for so long I have for gotten some of them. But I hope that these points are encouraging. That they can get a spark going in your own soul to live well and find what the Lord has for you. And usually that means what you can do for Him.

But today was another absolutely amazing God moment. Mom and Jefe (My step-dad) just got back from Hawaii and I picked them up from the airport at 6 AM this morning. They only got a few hours of sleep. However, we went to church. We have recently found a small church in Phoenix that we have been loving and when we got there the Pastor welcomed and chatted with us. Then during the service they had prayer time where the elders and their wives could pray with you. So Mom, of course, said “lets go up there and ask them to pray for you” and so we did and the pastor came over as well and I had a group of people praying for me. I cried. Then I went back to my seat and cried some more. Some of it being grief and some being overwhelmed by God’s goodness. After service I was able to be prayed over by the pastor and some new friends and I cannot tell you what a blessing that was. And what an impact that left on my heart. I see the Lord simply reminding me time and time again of his truth and that this is where he has me.

I did realize that this trip will be a little different, and by a little different, I mean a lot. Sometimes I forget the weight that is coming with going back. I get to go visit my dear friend, Yeelin’s bench. I have been thinking about what kind of flowers I would like to bring her and it makes my heart heavy. In February, I am going to Thailand to go see my buddy Parker’s grave spot and his heart place, Seed of Hope. These are two very heavy things that I try to give myself grace for this season of something new that also is filled with memories and grief. Despite those hard things, I am so excited. I am excited to see old friends, to share my favorite places with my travel buddy and, of course, eat some amazing food. There will be a balance of the hard and the good and I think that this will be a beautiful season of seeing more of what the Lord is going to do.

I am leaving in 6 days. And in those 6 days I am planning on making the most out of them and celebrating all the wonderful things that the Lord has done. And I encourage you, especially if you made it reading this far, make the most of these days. Find someone to serve. Look for people to love. Ask the Lord to show you what he has made you for and run with it as far as you can. There are a lot of lies in our world told to us by the enemy who wants us to settle for a life of insignificance. Of just cruising by on simple things. Go and live well and live deeply. So that when someone asks you about your life and how you are doing – you are able to share all the ways that you have seen the Lord work down to the tiny details of your life. And that they will be able to see the fire in your soul and you can inspire someone else to live well.

That is quite a big challenge to leave with you today. I know. And I am not saying that it’s going to be easy. So just do your best because that is all the Lord is asking of you. And then give the rest to him and you’ll start seeing what it means to live well.

Love you all and thank you for being apart of my journey with me! Feel free to reach out with email or text or what have you because I would love to hear from you and encourage you! Hugs and blessings!

‘“The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
 the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
 the Lord turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.”’

Numbers 6:24-25